


A Winter Smoke

by west_haven



Category: The Walking Dead (Video Games)
Genre: Future Fic, Gen, post season two, young adult!clem
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-31
Updated: 2015-01-31
Packaged: 2018-03-09 19:25:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 956
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3261569
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/west_haven/pseuds/west_haven
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An older Clementine smokes a cigarette while remembering her past.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Winter Smoke

Clementine blinked the snow out of her eyes, squinting through the cold, white mess. This kind of weather never agreed with her; she would rather not be bundled head to toe in layers, stiff and unable to move quickly just in case of trouble. And she will never forget how winter is _always_ trouble.

But most of all, weather like this made her feel empty. It made her remember what had happened over the years and all the people she had lost. She remembered the little girl she used to be, one who was happy going to school and coming home to her loving, living parents. That girl was now dead too, Clementine realized sadly.

With every passing winter, she felt worse and worse.

Her current situation was one of relative comfort at a small camp of people she wasn't going to get attached to if she could help it. Now that she was older, people didn't hesitate to give her a gun and put her on guard duty. Normally she doesn't mind it, but today, the thick snow made things difficult.

With a shaky breath, she pulled off her gloves and her hands dive into her pockets. One found a lighter and the other, a cigarette.

In her mind, she saw Pete inhale, cough and comment about how terrible they tasted. Her mouth twitched in a small smile as she recalled how nice he was to her. She tried to hold onto that memory instead of the one where his disembowled corpse was lying sprawled on the ground. She lit the cigarette, the old lighter taking a few tries to finally catch and burn.

Then she remembered Bonnie taking a long drag as Kenny fiddled with that damn truck, her eyes so distant after Luke's death. She offered Clementine her cigarette and she messed it up, not knowing how to do it right. Her eyes and lungs stung with the smoke at the time; by now, though, she's gotten used to it.

But then the last she recalled of Bonnie was that fleeting moment after Argo shot her; Clementine was left bleeding on the cold ground as they ran off into the snowy woods.

As if the memory woke it, her tired shoulder throbbed where the bullet had gone through. It left a circular, rough scar on her skin and the nearby joint ached with the changing weather. With her free hand, she rubbed at it lightly before returning to her cigarette.

This season really haunted her and being in the thick of it only brought the memories back. Shooting Kenny and then Jane's betrayal felt just as fresh as the newly fallen snow around her. Sometimes Clementine wondered if she should have stayed with her, but after Jane's lie about AJ, she couldn't even look at the woman anymore.

She blew a puff of smoke into the air, watching it disappear into the white sky. If only her memories could be blown away just as easily.

"Clementine?"

She blinked and turned, finding one of the girls from the town awkwardly staring at her, so she hitched her chin in acknowledgement.

"I just, uh, wanted to-- I was _told_ to check up on you." The girl's eyes darted around shyly and instantly, Clementine felt uncomfortable. She saw the girl had long hair and looked far too skittish to survive on the outside. It hurt her to think that way, as she remembered Sarah, but that was why she tried to be on her own now. She couldn't afford to get invested; it would only get her hurt.

"I'm fine," she said finally, her voice neutral.

"That's... good. I--" Her eyes darted to Clementine's lips, then away. "I didn't know you smoked."

Clementine took the moment to release a bit of smoke, politely away from the other girl. "I guess I picked it up."

"It's not really good for you, though. At least, that's what I've heard." Her voice trailed off uncomfortably.

At that, Clementine couldn't help but snicker. She pulled the cigarette from between her lips, the combination of smoke and laughter caused her to cough.

But then she recovered, her eyes promptly snapped up to the other girl's, whose face dropped at the look.

"Do you think it matters?" She asked hoarsely.

"Wh--" The girl tried to reply but Clementine cut her off.

"I step off this camp without a gun and I'll die faster than what this will do. So it doesn't matter."

The girl looked thrown off by her response and she took a step backwards. She had hardly spoken to Clementine, so this was a shock.

"I, well.... Okay." She quickly turned and walked off.

With a sigh, Clementine turned back to keep watch on the snowy horizon. She belatedly realized that she shouldn't have been so harsh, but she knew why she did it. The last thing she wanted was to make friends because they all die in the end.

She scoffed and flung the cigarette out into the snow before putting her gloves back on her cold fingers. For a moment, she closed her eyes and wished it was spring.

With warmer weather, she could chase away the ghosts of her past with the sun. She could be more mobile, breaking away from camps like the one she currently resides in. Out there, there's no one to look at her, to glance at her lips or gaze at her with fear and disappointment.

It was quiet all around her, but then she could hear the echoing groans of the undead.

With a tired familiarity, she opened her eyes and wordlessly raised her rifle.

This was her life now and Clementine couldn't say she really knew who she was anymore.

**Author's Note:**

> Oh wow, this has been a fic I've been fiddling around with for a while. I first played season two back last May, and I started this fic after playing episode two. The image of an older Clementine, bitter and an occasional smoker has been VIVID in my mind ever since, so I just had to get SOMETHING down. This fic sat on my Google Drive until August, when episode five came out, when I made some additions and mostly completed this fic.
> 
> And then it's been sitting in my Google Drive since then, with me just randomly editing a few sentences every once in a while.
> 
> But now it's like, fuck it! I am going to FINALLY post this!
> 
> Now will I ever post all the other fics I have lying around in various stages of completion? hmmmmmm.......


End file.
